September 9, 2024
Cutting off the branch on which she sits...
It might seem mad to cut off the bottom of all the doors in schools when you can just open the windows, but it looks positively sane compared to destroying the tree on whose branches every British citizen sits.

When I read that Nicola Sturgeon wants to chop off the bottom of all the classroom doors in Scotland to increase ventilation my first thought was why don’t they open the windows instead? Decades from now as people wander through Scottish schools with doors like no others in the world, they might be curious about the phenomenon of the Scottish door. It locks, but small people or at least children can crawl through the bottom. Perhaps this was a Scottish way of trying to redistribute wealth. Each word a teacher spoke could be heard from the corridor outside. Perhaps this was a way to make sure nothing subversive was being taught, such as that the miracles needed for the beatification of the blessed Nicola were not genuine. But while Scottish doors let in fire through the bottom, the SNP continued to tell visitors to Scotland about the benefits of Scottish fire doors, which although failing to stop the spread of fire did let those trapped to escape. They were clearly superior to English doors.

But it is not so much the bottom of the doors that Sturgeon is chopping off as the branch on which Scotland is sitting.

The SNP continues to insist that everything would go on exactly the same after independence as now.

We would still watch the BBC and English licence fee payers would still pay for TV channels in Gaelic even though the vocabulary of 99% of Scottish independence supporters extends no further than Saor Alba.

The British armed forces would still protect us even though there would no longer be any such thing as being British.

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See Also:

(1) Nicola Sturgeon says British taxpayers will continue to foot the bill for Scottish pensions after Scotland becomes independent

(2) The horrific revelations about the monsters masquerading as cops at Charing Cross police station are a Met scandal too far – Cressida Dick has to go

(3) Rishi to QUIT? Boris allies fear ministers set to ditch Boris and resign as revolt grows

(4) EU at war over Beijing Olympics – tensions mount as Poland and Spain break away

(5) State pension triple lock decision costs pensioners £2,600 as cost of living keeps rising

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