October 11, 2024
The Worst Advice Column Ever Written?
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Has there ever been a better illustration of the weird belief that the mere act of owning a firearm turns even “intelligent, hard-working, responsible” people into murderous psychopaths?
Has there ever been a better illustration of the weird belief that the mere act of owning a firearm turns even “intelligent, hard-working, responsible” people into murderous psychopaths?

From Live Well Nebraska comes the most amusingly hysterical and extraordinarily ignorant advice column I have read in a long while. It consists of a question, posed by a man writing as “Dumbfounded Father,” and a response, offered by “syndicated columnist” Amy Dickinson. At no point in the exchange does either person range within a country mile of reality.

“Dumbfounded Father” begins his question as such:

Dear Amy: This week, I discovered that my intelligent, hard-working, responsible 24-year-old daughter (who lives with me) is a gun owner!

What, exactly, is the purpose of this description of his daughter? Is the implication that an “intelligent, hardworking, and responsible” person should not own a gun? Would the purchase be more understandable if it had been made by a stupid, lazy, and reckless person? Is it that women should not own guns (long live the patriarchy!)? Or should gun-owners be older, perhaps. He doesn’t say.

It gets worse from there:

And it’s not a normal gun, either — it is a 40-caliber semi-automatic, and she has hollow-point bullets to go with it.

It is difficult to think of a more “normal gun” than a 40-caliber semi-automatic pistol. If there is such a thing as a “normal gun” in American life, it is this one. Likewise, there is nothing especially scary about “hollow-point bullets,” more on which later.

He continues:

Amy, this is the kind of weapon a criminal would possess! She says it is for emergencies. There have only been two home invasions in our neighborhood in the last 11 years.

A 40-caliber semi-automatic is in no way “the kind of weapon a criminal would possess.” Hell, what does that even mean? Millions of Americans possess 40-caliber semi-automatic pistols. Tens of millions possess near-identical handguns in 9mm, .357 SIG, and .45 ACP, among others. There’s nothing remotely “criminal” about those guns, or about the people who own them.

As for his “she says it is for emergencies” part. If that’s what she says, then why not believe her? She’s an adult, isn’t she?

Oh:

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