February 6, 2025
Maybe CHAZistan will give Canada a seat
While our prime minister continues his doorstep administration, and showy self-isolation, he can still take a break and join a crowd of thousands if he thinks another photo-op and a gesture will provoke a swoon from his dwindling admirers.
While our prime minister continues his doorstep administration, and showy self-isolation, he can still take a break and join a crowd of thousands if he thinks another photo-op and a gesture will provoke a swoon from his dwindling admirers.

It’s not all bad news folks.

We missed the UN Security Council, but Raz (rapper/warlord) of CHAZistan has offered Canada a seat on the new state’s Farming Collective and Tofu Oversight Planning and Meditation Board. There are limits on our presence in the six-city-block republic. Canada will not have veto rights. But Justin Trudeau is assured that should he make a formal or state visit, there is nothing — let me stress, nothing — on the all-vegan menu that will not be his for the asking, with just a small contribution to the CHAZ seed fund. Because of his noted skills in the art, he will also be offered honorary membership in the open-air yoga school, which is located outside the boarded-up pizza shop.

Now it is definitely not the same as sitting next to the big powers at the UN but there are some privileges. For example, the Canadian rep will have input into what gets shown on movie night, will be asked for advice on the best way to “person” the barriers surrounding the statelet, and will have an opportunity to participate in the various discussions on whether topsoil should go over the grass or under it.

And Canada, in the person of former minister of the environment and climate change, climate crusader (her brand, not mine) Catherine McKenna (now minister of infrastructure), has been asked to spend the first hour on the stationary bicycle they have rigged up to start the electric generator. This is a rare honour, in fact so rare it has never been given to anyone before, and depending on the state of the generator may never be offered to anyone ever again.

[Interesting Read]